The Day We Find Love

2007-10-07T03:02:00.000+08:00

cry me a river

2007-10-07T02:59:00.001+08:00

Cry Me A River"

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
(When you call me on the phone)
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be... leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

Cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river
(You can go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Cause I've already cried)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea)

Cry me a river
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river
(Cry me, cry me)

2007-10-07T00:25:00.001+08:00

if someone love you then you leave them for the one that you like,the one that you like with leave you for the one that they love .at the end of the day you're all alone,sad and lonely,think about it.

kheng lam jangan marah ya.. nothing bad =p

2007-09-22T20:53:00.000+08:00

lolz..i notice one thing that kheng lam likes to take pictures with funny and weird poses.. i actually got lot more pictures than that but my comp was reformatted a few months ago so ya these are the pictures that i got right now..

(took it from ming wai)

well im happy that i met this mr.chin.. lol he is a great guy.. he is just like the other half `sister` LOLZ..
i hope he will receive a good answer after spm.. haha.. GOOD LUCK..

ABOUt friends..
i would like to thank Wan Ming Wai, Sow Huey Ru, Chin Kheng lam, Nicole Khaw, Teoh Lai Yee, Jessie Ong, Law Yi Lin,Poon Yee Ling and all those ppl that i m close with.. I`m really happy to have u guys.. awwwwww u guys have been such good friends..!!!!! lOve you guys..!
I just loveeeeee sitting next to RU in class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love her lots...
haha..
general question to everyone..(jangan over perasan to think that is U.. lolz)
im just writing what i feel and the conflicts that ppl are facing nwadays..

well it is really difficult to find someone who u can trust and talk to..

If you love him/her,why not just go for it?

IF you wanna sort things out with ur bf/gf or a fren ,sort it by yourself n do u think by telling ur problems to other ppl,do u think he/she wanna help u or helping out for themselves?

If you think u r a gud bf/gf or a fren,did u ever tell her/him URSELF ABOUT everything bou hw u feel bou her/him and what u knw and u don`t like bou him/her?

If u`re unsatisfied with your own life,why ruin others when u feel jealous?
makes u feel better and happier to see someone crying over something that they had lost?

If you really are a good friend, why do you talk bad about him/her and don`t admit for your own actions?

If you think she or he talking bad about u,why not u ask her/him instead of telling everyone that he/she is talking bad about u?

If you`re wondering why u couldn`t do well in UR exams or anything, why not ask or find out instead of complaining?

If you feel that u`re a good friend,try asking others that don`t really know u well to know that answer..?

If you think she/he has cheated you,have u wonder why she/he wanna cheat on u while u think u`re good enough?

If you keep own talking bad about the person that u hate,does it make any difference or benefit u?

If you have your own gf or bf,why do u still wanna talk to ppl`s bf or gf?

If you have your own crush already,Why do you still wanna be so close to someone else`s bf or gf,have u ever feel hw he/she feels?

If you know ur crush has a bf/gf already,why not wait for your turn to come instead of feeling jealous and ruin their relationship,do u think by doing that he/she wan to be with you?

If you think u are considerate enuf,have you ever try to think how others feel before
helping them instead of making things worst.. ?

If you like him or her,Why not just tell him/her?

If you want to be smart,why not just be one?

IF you know u`re not good looking enough,why not improve your looks instead of looking down at yourself?

We all know the answer..
we`re not perfect..
But its up to u for the way u wanna be or what..
just remember..
Don`t be selfish and act innocent..
Trust yourself be4 trusting others..
be true to urself and others..
this is what i learned..

^.^

2007-09-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

LOL..sorry didnt update ... malas actually.. >.< nothing interesting happen in school also.. cos its bulan puasa.. but its unfair that the malay girls dont have to run when they came late to school..
but pity jessie .. lol jessie and i came late to school ONE DAY la har.. BUT she was three minutes earlier then me.. lol.. unlucky >.< cos when she reach the school gate, she saw miss LOW standing at the perhimpunan area there somewhere far la har..she is a sial and garang teacher which is like 50+ havent married yet..PJ TEACHER..she was waving at JESSIE asking her to come..SO jessie tot miss low gt sumthing to tell her.. THEN she ran and ran.. all the way up there.. SO ya..she was like.."yes teacher?", said jessie.."ONG JUN YING,U LATE RIGHT? OK..STAND here.. ", said ms.low.. so basically, she ran all the way up there for nothing while me i WAS walking slowly all the way up there...

MORE pICTURES!!

2007-09-18T22:34:00.000+08:00

Ooi CHEKK!!!

haha.. mr chin.. >.< he is nice..

What sign u should be..

2007-09-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

What Sign Should You Be?

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous

What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand

In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection

In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support

Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure

Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood

You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

2007-09-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

Shes going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taken her granted
She wants to see if theres more than he gave, shes lookin for,
He calls her up hes trippin' on the phone now
He doesn't want her out there and alone now
Knows shes moving it, knows shes using it
Now he's losing it and she dont care

Everybody put your hands up say, I don't wanna be in love,
Feel the beat now if you got nothing left say I dont wanna be in love
Don't give up now, you got a reason to live say, I don't wanna be in love
Feeling good now, don't be afraid to get down say, I don't wanna be in love

He was always giving her attention
Working hard to buy the things she mentioned
He was dedicated by most suckers hated
That girl was fine but she didn't appreciate him
She calls him up, shes trippin on the phone now
He had to get out and he ain't coming home now

Now lets try to forget it that's how he got with her
When he first met her and when they first got together

Chorus

To the beat , to the beat, to the beat, you got nothing to lose don't be afraid to get down
We break up, its something that we do now,
Everyone has got to do it sometime
Its ok, let it go, get out there and find someone (some more)
Its too late to be trippin on the phone here
Get off the wire everything is good here
Stop what you are doingyou don't wanna ruin the sex that you got to find a new one

Chorus

15th of September 2007

2007-09-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

well well.. as u know ming wai.. Kheng lam and I asked you to join us for shopping for ooi hoon`s present rite??? well lucky u didnt come.. if not u will be bored to death =p
i Ajak Kheng Lam TO MEET AT 11.30AM.. and u knw what?
he was late for like 1 hour an fifthteen minutes! lolz..if im with ooi hoon,i think it will be different LOL..
We walk around in midvalley for half an hour and we left to central market to get her gift..
ABout the gift.. aikz..sorry la..forgot take a picture of it..
its really nice..! Its meaningful and ya..she can wear it la of course.. what else... pendant la..A HEART-SHAPED pendant with her name engraved on it and her picture is printed on the pendant..

(took it when i meet her up in kasturi waiting for ooi chek)

SO FROM THERE,We decided to join ooi hoon and her sis for a concert in dataran merdeka later at around 7 pm..Ooi chek,who is ooi hoon`s sister..well she was up the whole night talking and having fun with me while kheng lam and ooi hoon were standing beside each other..talking and feeling bored at the same time while waiting for the concert to be start lol..

WELL Be4 the concert actually start..it RAIN!!!!! Lucky ooi chek was smart enuf to bring two umbrellas.. one for me and her and another one for ooi hoon and kheng lam of course..

(ooi chek was holding the umbrella for me while i took her picture! she wouldnt even let me to play under the rain..how sad!)

(Mr.Chin trying to act cute in front of someone)

(Ooi hoon busy busy talking to mui mui jai while kheng lam trying to look for something to impress her)

(Nicholas teo`s fan (ppl in green) bz lining up )

(Mr chin smiling happily showing his phone to ooi hoon)

(he was trying so hard just to get a picture with her but ooi hoon aihz..was facing her back)

(Finally we got in)

(yay we got the front row of the standing area)

(MS. HOON BUSY SMSING THROUGHOUT THE CONCERT WHILE LEAVING MR.CHIN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE SONGS (Not really gud with mandarin))

(Ooi chek AND ME)

OK.. after the concert..we left dataran merdeka and head to central market where ooi hoon`s parents will be there to fetch us home.. by the time we reach central market..it was around 12.00am already and yes.. it is 16th of september! OOI hoon`s birthday.. we sang her a buffday song and woo hoo.. me and ooi chek went to one corner and leave kheng lam and ooi hoon alone so that Kheng lam can give her the pendant.. >.< Mr.chin PLS make a move laaaaaaaaa,HE didnt so yup... he was so kayuu... well anyways he was nice enuf to be the first person to give her a present! YUP AND WE LEFT.... TATS ALL.. THANKS FOR READING...!

Why is it so Hard to Forgive?

2007-09-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

Why is it so Hard to Forgive?

by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC

Human behavior suggests that people are “hard-wired" to retaliate when they have been hurt by another person. Our pride or self-esteem is injured. Our expectations or dreams are disappointed. We lose something very valuable to us. We want recompense for the damages.

But there are other resistances which block our motivation to forgive. Automatic thoughts or beliefs impede us from forgiving others. We tell ourselves, "I won't forgive because he/she never accepts responsibility for what he/she does" or "I would be a hypocrite if I forgave because I do not feel like forgiving" or "Forgiving is only for weak people".

Explanations for behavior can also get in the way. When someone hurts us or lets us down we tend to assign internal causes for behavior to others. We argue that it is based personality or character traits. We tell ourselves, “he’s just so forgetful or careless” or “she doesn’t appreciate me” or “she did that purposefully”. We judge them harshly.

But when we do something wrong or hurtful/disappointing we tend to excuse our own behavior by attributing external causes. In those cases we say “my child made a mess” or “there was a car accident on the highway.” We tend to let ourselves off the hook and give ourselves permission to fail.

This is what psychologists call the “Fundamental Attribution Error”. We assign total responsibility or blame to others for their behavior while explaining away our own negative actions in terms of situational factors. In other words, it’s not our fault because….

It’s important to note that understanding and accepting the error in behavior does not relieve the offending person of moral responsibility. Forgiving someone does not cancel out the consequences of their actions. The goal is to promote empathy and forgiveness and look more realistically at the hurtful events from their point of view.” This involves thinking the best of people rather than jumping to harsh conclusions about their character or intentions.

Lack of empathy (empathy is the psychological highway to forgive others) for others can also get in the way of our ability to forgive. We can develop empathy for others by beginning to change our way of thinking. It is impossible to fully know why a person acted the way that they did. Make room from grace.

When have you been able to have empathy for someone who has hurt you? Ask yourself “do I want things bitter or better?” Forgiveness has a huge impact on our own health and feelings. Forgiveness is not so much about the other person as it is about our own hearts. Forgiveness is for our benefit, but so often things get in the way. Think of a time when you have needed forgiveness.

Don't let resentment imprison you for life, it will destroy you and your other relationships. Lewis Smedes wrote: "To forgive is to set the prisoner free...and to discover that the prisoner was you." Let go of the pain. Give it to God. For God alone understands more than anyone the pain and humiliation you feel. Jesus felt more pain, rejection and humiliation than any person.

Letting go of your hurts is often not an overnight experience. It takes time, but as you work toward it you’ll find that it is worth the effort. Ask God to give you the grace to forgive.

The ability to forgive is rooted in being forgiven ourselves. In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much that he sent his only son so that we could be forgiven. As people we all make mistakes, not one of us can live up to the standard God set on our own. But God promises that if we accept what Jesus did for us, we can be forgiven. The slate can be wiped clean no matter what has happened in the past. God promises us strength for today and bright hope for the future. Whatever happened in your yesterdays God can take care of all of your tomorrows.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.

Lolz..

2007-09-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

what was i thinking..

2007-09-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

Have you ever love someone so deeply before?
until u could cry yourself to sleep and miss him or her all the way thinking why you are so stupid to let him or her go in the first place?
well i did..
i think almost everyone knows what happen..
Do u think its time for me to let go?
Im tired of waiting and sitting here feeling bad for everything..
I tried to ask for forgiveness..but somehow it is not easy as u and i thought..
sorry..
Im so sorry..
I miss you a lot really..

even though i know that it is totally impossible for that to happen one day , i will still keep on waiting till u willing to trust me..

beautiful girls..~

2007-08-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

JR, Sean Kingston!

(Chorus)
You're way too beautiful girl
Thats why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn, all these beautiful girls
They only want to do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say its over

See it started at the park
used to chill after dark
Oh when you took my heart
Thats when we fell apart
cause we both thought, that love lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young, to get ourselves sprung
Ooh we didn't care we made it very clear
And they also said that we couldn't last together (last together)
See it's very devine, you're one of a kind
But you mash up my mind, you haffi get declined
Oh lord, my baby is driving me crazy

(Chorus)
You're way too beautiful girl
Thats why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only want to do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say its over

It was back in 99
Watching movies all the time
Oh, when I went away for doing my first crime
And I never thought that we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mami moved me down south
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be that she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)
See it's very devine, you're one of a kind
But you mash up my mind, you haffi get declined
Oh lord, my baby is driving me crazy

(Chorus)
You're way too beautiful girl
Thats why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say its over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only want to do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say its over

Now were fussing and now were fighting
Please tell me why I'm feeling slighted
And I don't know how to make it better (make it better)
You're dating other guys, you're telling me lies
Oh I can't believe what I'm seeing with my eyes
I'm losing my mind and I don't think its clever (think its clever)

You're way too beautiful girl
Thats why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal

>.<

2007-08-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

When you catch a girl
glancing at you,
she wants you to look
back and smile

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it even when
you see each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through
her
mind

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes
full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after
a
few seconds,
she is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why are you playing
games

When a girl lays her head on your
chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers
forever

When a girl says she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

When a girl is mean to you after a
break-up
she wants you back, but shes
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a
few
minutes
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do

When your laying your head on a guy's
chest,
he has the world

When a guy calls/texts/comments you
everyday,
he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves
you,
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without
you,
he's with you til youre done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else

Love

2007-08-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.

An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.

Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'

We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.

The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.

If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.

LOVE is a happy thing.
It makes us laugh.
It makes us sing.
It makes us sad.
It makes us cry.
It makes us seek the reason why.
It makes us take.
It makes us give.
Above all else it makes us LIVE.

It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone.

So remember...If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Free Living Will

LOVE

Love is patient and kind Love is not jealous or boastful Love is not proud or rude Love does not demand its own way Love is not irritable or hold grudges Love does not support injustic Love never gives up and Love endures through every circumstance

Love is Patient, Love is Kind
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

lol..tips for you Ming wai! =p found it in friendster`s bulletin board..

2007-08-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

Every girl dreams that one day she will
find a guy that does these things for
her. even the smallest action can have
the BIGGEST impact in someones life.

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER
• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in.
• leave her cute text notes.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• touch her hair.
• just walk around with her.
• FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES.
• look at her like she's the only girl you see.
• tickle her even when she says stop.
• hold her hand when you're around your friends.
• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her.
• stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she's sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead.
• give her the world.
• let her wear your clothes.
• when she's sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she's important.
• kiss her in the pouring rain.
• when you fall in love with her, tell her.
• and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.

do you know

2007-07-21T19:00:00.000+08:00

DO YOU KNOW
Do you know
Do you know,
Do you know, Do you know

Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to
throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can't get it to speak
Maybe finding all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I?m standing on the edge and I don't
know what else to give.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone
that's in a rush to throw you away.

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

How can I love you How can I love you How can I love you
If you just don't talk to me, babe.

I flow through my act
The question is she needed
And decide all the man I can ever be.
Looking at the last 3 years like I did,
I could never see us ending like this.
Seeing your face no more on my pillow
Is a scene that's never happened to me.
But after this episode I don't see,
you could never tell the next thing life could be

Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to
throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone
that's in a rush to throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know,
Do you know, Do you know....

oOO

2007-07-21T01:56:00.001+08:00

Your Love Type: ENFJ

The Giver

In love, you give your all and feel guilty when relationships fail.
For you, sex is not seperate from love and caring.

Overall, you are humorous, giving, and motivational.
However, you tend to be over-protective and critical of your partner.

Best matches: INFP or ISFP

What's Your Love Type?

everybody deserve a chance

2007-07-01T15:17:00.000+08:00

every chances begins with a new life and a step to begin with..
it depends whether the person is willing to give it to you anot..
trust and realization is really important when it comes to chances.
to realize your own mistake and trust them or yourself that they can make it better.
everybody`s way of thinking is different..
so its up to them whether to give or accept..

thank you

2007-06-29T22:07:00.001+08:00

Thank You
For teaching me wrong from right and
encouraging me to keep my dreams in sight
For shouting me to not let obstacles keep me down
And for creating a smile from of my frown
For saying that you care about me
And for showing just how special love should be
For wiping my tears away when I `m feeling sad
And for calming me down when I tend to get mad
For helping others with the good that you do
And for teaching me that I should be considerate about others,too
For hugging me when I need you
And whispering into my ear "I love you"
Thank you for all that you do
I don`t know where I would be now if it weren`t for you
Thank you for letting me be yours for once before
But there are certain things that I dislike you doing it
I did not tell you nor stop you for doing it
For I don`t want to see you angry or feeling uneasy
Therefore I shall Just let it go and walkaway..
Thank you once again as i really did truly love you before..

*pls do not copy and paste...

Kisses Don`t lie by Rihanna ^^

2007-06-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

Kisses dont
No they dont
Never dont lie
You can run if you want but you cant hide
Tellin you its the truth dont you ask why
Kisses dont
No they dont
Kisses dont lie

Emotions come and go
Almost how the wind will blow
There so little in this world to trust in
Seduce themselves with lies
Some dont realize
They call it love but its really only lustin

So you see you and me
We're gettin close to the danger zone
Show me how tell me now
Should I stay or should i go
Cause I'm caught between yes and no

Cause when you kiss me
I feel everything that I been missing
I try to slow down but my heart wont listen
And its tearin me all up inside
And when you touch me
I feel a rush but I'm afraid that it might crush me
Should I put my trust in somethin I dont trust in
I try to run but theres no place to hide
Cause baby kisses dont lie

Kisses dont
No they dont
Never dont lie
You can run if you want but you cant hide
Tellin you its the truth dont you ask why
Kisses dont
No they dont
Kisses dont lie

You whisper in my ear
But are your words sincere
Cause pretty words can cut just like a knife
You see I'm nobody's fool
I play by my own rules
So please think twice before you step into my life

So you see you and me
We're gettin close to the danger zone
Show me how tell me now
Should I stay or should i go
Cause I'm caught between yes and no

^^ hope

2007-06-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

how much do you love me mommy? weee!

2007-06-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

Jeremy slurped down the last of his milk from the bottom of his cereal bowl. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and jumped down from the table. "Mommy, how much do you love me?" he asked.

"I love you more than the tallest tree and taller," she answered.

"Oh," said Jeremy, and he ran out to play. While outside, he searched for the tallest tree. He looked everywhere but couldn't find a single tree. There were some scraggly bushes, but that was all.

I think I'll swing instead, he thought. He started to swing, pumping his legs and arms as hard and fast as he could. Soon, Jeremy heard the screen door slam. His mommy was headed toward the clothesline with a basket of wet clothes. Jeremy slowed down his pumping and jumped off the swing. He ran toward his mother.

"Mommy," Jeremy asked. "How much do you love me?"

"I love you more than the highest mountain and higher," she answered.

Jeremy smiled and skipped upstairs to look out the window to find the highest mountain. But he didn't see any mountains at all, just houses that didn't seem very high at all.

During dinner, Jeremy asked once again, "How much do you love me?"

"I love you more than the brightest star and brighter," answered his mother.

Jeremy grinned as he sipped his last sip of milk.

After his bath, Jeremy searched the night sky for the brightest star. But it was raining, and there weren't any stars to be seen. There was a sudden flash of lightning, and that startled him.

Jeremy was quiet as his mother tucked him in that evening. "What's wrong?" his mother asked. "You haven't asked a single question since dinner."

"Mother," he began, "I looked outside for the tallest tree but all I saw were scraggly bushes. I looked for the highest mountain but all I could find were short houses; and I tried to find the brightest star, but all I could see was a scary bolt of lightning. If that's all that you love me, I don't think you love me at all."

Jeremy's mother stroked his blond hair as she gently kissed him on the cheek. "You sleep well tonight. Tomorrow I will show you how much I love you."

The next day, Jeremy and his mom packed a picnic lunch. They got into the car and drove and drove and drove. Soon they came upon a big sign.

"What does that sign say, Mommy?" Jeremy asked.

"It says REDWOOD NATIONAL PARK," she answered.

"Wow!" hollered Jeremy as he raced among the tallest trees he had ever seen. "These trees can almost touch the sky. You must really love me a lot." All day long, they played alongside the giant trees and ate their picnic lunch.

As night approached, Jeremy and his mom drove home a different way than Jeremy could ever remember going before. They drove a long, long time. When the sky was almost all dark, they came to a stop.

"Let's get out here a moment," Jeremy's mom said. "I want to show you how much I love you."

Jeremy's eyes widened as he looked down at the city lights.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"We are on top of the highest mountain. This is how much I love you. Look up there," his mommy said, pointing her hand towards the night sky. "Can you find the brightest star?"

The sky was full of stars dancing and twinkling. They were so bright and so close that Jeremy felt as if he could reach up and grab one.

"Mommy, they are all so bright. I could never find the brightest one."

Jeremy slept on the way back to the city. He woke again while his mother was tucking him into bed. Quickly, while she was above him, he tried to think of something taller than the tallest tree, bigger than the biggest mountain, and brighter than the brightest star. He thought and thought, but it was hard. He had slept through his usual bedtime snack, and his rumbling tummy sort of distracted him. Finally, Jeremy looked at his mother with half-opened eyes and quietly whispered, "I love you, Mommy. I love you more than the tallest tree, more than the biggest mountain, and more than the brightest star. In fact, I love you more than the tastiest peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"

His mother laughed, and Jeremy smiled and quickly fell to sleep.

Choices~

2007-06-04T22:30:00.001+08:00

lol

2007-06-04T20:31:00.000+08:00

happy happy =p why ar?
Don`t want tell!
want know?
then ask lo!
must learn how to ask!
=p

Learning to learn program

2007-06-03T02:06:00.000+08:00

DAY 1

lol well i was kind of excited to go for the program 2day,got up at 7.30am to get everything ready well by about 8.30am me and my mum left the house..yooHOO..here i come =p
Well reach the church at 9am..
swt belum start pun..need to register and so on..so waited till about 10am the program only start...
ok..we were greeted by a guy name`Jacky`who is our facilitator! lol.. he really does look like a clown to me.. feli,may and me were sitting behind and listen to him talk crap and so on..
Rules were made and they are

BE HAPPY
SAFETY FIRST
100% PARTICIPATING..

ok so those who disobey him or break the rules have to pay the fine so basically that day a lot ppl really kena `SAMAN` a lot.I felt kinda annoyed because i don`t understand why they are using money to punish us but whenever we did something good or we gave a correct answer our money is given back to us or even more.
Lol.. but be4 he started to carry on with the activities,he said that for the 1st day and 2nd day we will hate him very very much but on the 3rd day we will love him very very much.I was like ohh ok... it depends la har..but seriously on the 3rd day.. i cried and i gave him a kiss on the cheeks when he ask (muka memang lembut) haha.. lol funny rite?well i`m not the only gal who kiss him..a lot gals also kena by this kinda punishment summore kena a lot times too so i guess u knw who u r la har...ha ha..
well we played a lot games which basically are for primary school students but its fun lol..childish game for childish ppl.. haha..
Be4 we end the program for the next day,we were divided into groups and each group has 8 person.the group members are Dylan,Felicia,May,Julian,Benny,Victor,Thomas and me. WE won a lot that day.. lol sound like gambling rite?well its not.. wanna know?
join the program and experience it urself.

DAY 2

well ya..ya..today was kinda special cos i`m getting closer and closer with my friends around lol..well i made a new friend with a boy who is 13,his name is dylan and he is short but cute =p ..He has a small body that ppl tot he was in primary but yet he has a very big mouth..He really can be in the entertaining industry..full with craps and will nvr stop talking till JAcky said he wants to kiss him lol.. well he did kiss the facilitators,he kiss both of them. Lol such a brave young boy hor or actually he mmg wan kiss them wan? haha that one we will nvr knw. He is mature well his jokes are all very sick but yet it is very effective enuf for us to knock our head on the wall.Can be annoying at times but he is just too cute to be angry with him haha..
Well for today`s program,we learn about teamwork....bla bla..
cooperative and perseverance is very important..
have to be considerate at all times cos u`re not the one who is there and playing the game..
haha and today the facilitator buat kacau called me out purposely buat malu ..
call out ask me to kiss him..AIYOOOO
I SIT WITH MY KNEES ALSO MAU CALL OUT SO its OBVIOUS call me out for ntg..
ok so... he said`either u kiss or pay rm50 fine` I was like aikz..apa ni.. didnt brought much money pun and i duwan kiss him..haha so ended feli and the gang stood up for me and sang `chee cheung fan` so as they sing jacky and me dance ..lol and then
for the rest of the day..we had lots of fun

Day3
Sob its the last day of the program..how sad..
well today we did a lot of sharing sessions..
One of it is we have to share our experience that we are truly be loved by someone..
we were divide into two groups and we have to form a circle and the facilitator will guide us.
Julian is the first one who shared.the story is about his mother and how much she loved him and care for him..Feli started to cry after hearing that and then me.. i cried the most..
Honestly i started crying is not because of the story..yes it is very touching but somehow i saw feli cry thats y it makes me wanna cry too..haha.. and i was thinking bou sumthing which make me cry even harder...the facilitator has to stop and wait for me to stop crying..sigh paiseh..
Well not everyone shared just me ,feli,may,daniel, and julian shared our story..
we really cried when we tell out..
oh ya.. i met a weirdo in this camp too.. a very weird one.. TRUST ME..I BEEN TRYING TO AVOID HIM THE WHOLE DAY FOR ASKING MY number just because i start to talk to him nicely..i really don`t know whats wrong with him..his name is`liew` sumthing age 16.. yucks.. go away boy..jie jie not interested and u are so weird!
haha..well by the end of the day, jacky ask for a kiss lol... haha i love him... he motivate me alot.. lol.. I love my facilitor..well is normal rite? haha everybody loves him.. feli and may kiss him too..even dylan lol..

pain

2007-05-30T01:20:00.001+08:00

my life is doomed...

i still...

2007-05-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

Although our love is over, it remains
An unfrequented garden in my heart,
Its beauty quite inseparable from pain,
A wilderness where once was willful art.

I hope a little piece of you is still
Reserved for me, a place you may not go,
But where my room, untenanted, can fill
A moment with my music, sweet and slow.

There are no wishes like a former lover's
That from the dark, repentant night must shine.
And so though we have both moved on to others,
I send you from afar this Valentine.

I find my happiness in loving you.

2007-05-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

I find my happiness in loving you. Though my love is not returned, I don't mind waiting. The woods are a cathedral where I pray For the beauty and grace that lie within my heart. You hold me and we kiss, and yet not yet Is there the unity that love must crave. You want me, but not as I want you: This truth is like a wreckage on my sea. There's no one else I hunger for, nor touch That makes me feel I must take off my skin; And so I'll wait as years pile up like leaves, And long with the lonely patience of the moon.

the first time I have ever loved

2007-05-26T22:30:00.000+08:00

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This is the first time I have ever loved;
Yours, the first face I can not forget.
I think you are afraid, perhaps, and moved
To wonder whether you should do this yet.
I also am afraid, and yet I know
That wonder is a thing that needs a yes;
Should you step back and let this moment go,
Both you and I will have to live with less.
Please trust my love, as I must trust in yours.
It's strong as steel, as delicate as lace,
Immovable as battered granite shores:
I feel its power and unremitting grace.
So come, my love, and try this love with me;
Let your love speak, and then you will agree.

I`m afraid

2007-05-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

I am afraid to love, and yet I love you.
My fear is like a wall I walk right through.
The wall is there, and yet it doesn't stop me.
I need it still, and yet I still need you.

I know someday we will be in a field
Surrounded by the blessing of the sky.
I'll dance with all the freedom of pure joy,
Needing you without a reason why.

But now I'm still afraid that I might lose you,
That you might not accept my desperate need.
You make me laugh and cry and be completely.
You are the flower, I the slender reed.

everytime i see you i remember

2007-05-22T18:27:00.000+08:00

Every time I see you I remember
All the things you did for me when I
Was going through my adolescent hell.
Yet now I cannot speak unless I cry.

I know you are no longer free to see me;
You've made your choice, and that I must respect.
But I've a need to say that I still love you.
I have no fear or pride I need protect.

Just as the sun must come back every morning
To shine upon the meadow it holds dear,
So I will from afar shine on your glory,
And hope someday again you'll let me near.

my dear friend

2007-05-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

Father god,
i pray that my dear sweet friend, Felicia..that she will be alright and hope that she can overcome any hardship that she is going through like rumours and studies and so on..i pray that there will be no more rumours talking about her so that she can go on making friends easily and happily.. all this pray in Jesus name Amen..

take care felicia!

what i love about you...

2007-05-20T20:29:00.000+08:00

What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and cute.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine before..

love

2007-05-18T20:38:00.001+08:00

Aww.. In Love again...^^

sigh

2007-05-18T18:38:00.000+08:00

gt scolding becos i cant eat...
after i ate i puke..
whats this...

stress..
im starting to hate life..
nobody cares bou me..
ppl starting to ignore me..
everybody hates me..

pain..not yet recover

2007-05-17T14:50:00.000+08:00

cant eat properly..
so far i ate 3 meals in this 6 days..
all i did was drank water and milk..

i still miss him.. i feel so horrible.. i feel so sad..
im pushing him further and further away..

i love him.. i really do..
now i know it really hurts me alot that he`s gone.. its too late..
but before that i do love him very much too..
since he`s gone.. i can`t stop thinking bou him..
all the memories that we been through together is still in my mind always..

happy that i get to be with him but im very sad that it ends like this..
how i wish i could be him once more..
this time i really want to make things better and for him..
no more trouble..i knw im very demanding..im sorry.. i really do.. i will change..
i know all my mistakes.. i really do..i want to change and
i will..
i really do..
i mean it..
i love him..i love him very very much..

brings back memories..

2007-05-16T21:01:00.001+08:00

makes me cry whenever i hear this..

gastric..

2007-05-16T18:00:00.000+08:00

yesterday.. i did something very wrong which i tot i could make things better..
i added one of choon meng`s college fren in msn ..
i tot it was his college fren but no.. its his college fren gf..
i added her because i tot could knw more bou choon meng without msg him everyday cos i miss him n i keep thinking bou him but it just make things worst..
at first she came on9 and i said hi..
then she ask me whether im choon mengs gf..then i correct her n said im his ex..
then things started..she quickly msn choon meng and said what happen and so on..
and choon meng started to hate me.. he say im bothering his frens..
all i wan to do is try to make things better bt instead of that..
things becoming worst and worst it really hurts me so so much till i wanna die..
cos choon meng said he duwan to be frenz with me anymore and ask me to stop bother him..
i really didnt ask for help just to knw her.. all i really wan is to knw bou choon meng n hw is he ..i care for him..but it turn in a opposite way..choon meng`s fren`s gf help me and ended up she argue with her bf which i reli didnt knw.. but i reli didnt ask for help and didnt tell her anything..i just said that choon meng will hate me now since she told him bou me.. just in a few secs the relationship is over...

i can`t do anything now..

now.. he hate me..
no more chance anymore..
i feel pain very pain.. i can`t study and eat..
its very very painful..
but i honestly i didnt knw what i was doing .. all this time i keep thinking and saying i wan him back ..i want him back so badly..but now it ended becoming a disaster..im a stranger and outsider to him now..
i seriously made a very big mistake tis time

im hopeless now..i feel like dying ..i really do..
im working on to change my attitude now..
i don`t want him to feel more annoyed anymore..even though we`re not friends anymore..

suffering from depression.. the only medicine i need ..its him

2007-05-15T15:20:00.001+08:00

today well..
exam was okay.. sigh gastric again.. the pain is making me even harder to eat..
didnt eat lunch and breakfast today..
only drank milk and water..

sigh.. im very depressed..
i miss him.. i miss talking to him.. i miss the hug and kisses everything.. looking back at the pictures bring backs lots of memories.. happy memories that makes me cry..
i lost him..

i love him..im willing to change and do whatever as long as he`s back with me..im seriously cant stand the pain.. its like been 5days now..
i still can`t eat properly..sigh..

i want to message him.. but i don`t want to bother him.. i know he feels dat im very annoying to him now.. ya its sad but i understand.. i been bothering him for 3days just to ask him back and he starting to avoid talking to me tat much already since that day..
im sad..
im very sad..
im still not over it..i cant lie to myself.. been crying like almost everyday..
its tough..i dun feel loved anymore..i feel like im made of stone now..
no feelings at all ..just sad.. and all i want is him..

its hard.. its hard.. its really sad..im really sad..
i almost fell down from the staircase today..feeling dizzy.. urgh.. lucky that there` s no one behind me..i don`t want them to fall dwn after i slipped..can hardly mix around and talk..

i knw..
i shouldn`t be so emotional..
i realise that
i always think too much till here and there and feeling imsecure and ended up arguing..
i realise its tough for him , its like when we argue,we`re like very sad and its hard to study and stay focus especially in college..
i know that..
but i didnt mean to.. i really didnt mean to..
but its too late.. i lost him..
i lost him already..
it still hurts me alot...

i want him back..i really do.. but i can`t do anything..
i seriously can`t.. i don`t want him to be more stress up and all..
all i want is..i want to be with him.. msg less n talk less n meet less is ok for me now..
i realised that now..i been so childish and always wanted his attention always to comfort me..

i don`t need that now.. i learn my lesson.. i really did..
if i ever get the chance to be back with him..i really will change into someone who doesnt give him any more trouble to worried bou and think of ..instead of all that trouble i`ll make things easier for him..i really want to..

i want to wait..
im waiting for the chance though i know the answer is `no`
im really waiting for miracle to happen..
silly me..but that`s what i want..

Day 1 after breaking up..

2007-05-14T18:06:00.000+08:00

well like i said..i went to the clinic today after exam..
just got some gastric pills and sleeping pills..sleeping pills? why? bcos i cant sleep at all seriously..
sigh..

i miss him..
today.. just all of a sudden felicia send me a msg that she duwan to be friends with choon meng anymore.. i wonder why.. why all of a sudden..? whats wrong now?
sigh.. i swear i got nothing to do with this.. i don`t even know why all sudden why she is doing this..even i msg choon meng at 4pm he didnt reply.. y? is he bz?
or is he trying to ignore me..
im starting to think too much now!! IM WORRIED! i really hope the answer is that he is bz or either taking a nap..

PAIN.. IM SERIOUSLY in pain!!! while doing exam..oh gosh..my stomach hurts and even my heart..
sigh.. all i can do is drink water..
no appetite.. i wanna eat but i cant..i feel like puking each time i see food now..why?

i msg choon meng yesterday..well when i ask him..i said
`choon meng,will u wait for me ? i want to let you know that i will wait for you?`
he didnt answer..he dont dare to..
ended up he didnt reply me also..
at least give me an answer or a reply..i really need it..
cos im still wondering now..
i will wait no matter what even if he says no..
but i know deep down his heart.. he want me to..but he don`t want me to be tie to him ..
he want me to consider other boys too..thats very sweet of him..
but i really want him to know that im waiting..im willing to wait..
its not stupid..its love..
i love him and i will wait..
and i wan him to know that im waiting so that he could work harder..
work harder and settle everything as soon as possible..
then that time..i really hope he will come back to me..
i want him to be happy and have great achievements for his results..
i also realise that I been selfish too.. i did ..but i love him thats y im not willing to let go..
i need to do this for his own good yes..
but seriously he really cant concentrate and all i have to let him go..
no use forcing..i also don`t want to see him sad..and fail and his parents really spent a lot for his studies and he don`t want to let them down.. i know..
i really hope that he is concentrating..
but at that same time im scare that he will fall for another gal too a better one...
but i trust him..i knw he won`t do that cos he said he wont find another gal cos he really want to concentrate on his studies..
i hope he won`t let me down..
So PLease don`t let me down choon meng! study hard!

like i said..
i hope once everything is settled..he can concentrate..i hope he will come back to me..
and i hope that he still loves me even now.. even we cant be together..thats really important to me.. i hope his love won`t change for me..thats what i really want..
im really really looking forward to be with him
in the future..

even though we`re not couples now..
i really still hope we can still chat ..
you know ..last time
everyday after skool,
he will send me a msg.. with `muacks` its sweet.. it makes me feels good to be home and its really warm and after a long day in skool and a msg with a `muax` its really helps alot and very very warming i feel welcomed ..he is very sweet..

but today of cos.. there`s no more.. i wanted to msg him.. but i cant.. i afraid that he`s bz..im afraid to bother him i afraid to annoyed him..so i control myself.. i really did..
until 4pm..i couldnt control myself already..i was afraid that he forgot about me..
so i just msg him and ask what happen between him and felicia..
ya and i didnt get any reply..
and i start feeling sad again.. i tot i could chat with him for awhile..
well maybe he`s taking a nap..
i don`t know..im starting to think again.. think here and there again..
im start worrying bou tis again..i will be like..is it he is ignoring or he duwan to talk to me anymore..
since yesterday he didnt reply me..
it really does hurts me..
cos its like he duwan to talk to me anymore and no answer from him..
sigh..
i really miss him..i do..
i love him.. he is very important to me.. he is..
he needs to concentrate on his studies yes..i have to understand that..i have to control myself.. but please.. at least a reply it will make me feel better.. at least a reply i knw he still treat me as a fren and he doesnt hates me..
i really afraid that he said he will hate me.. cos he did said it be4 that he is starting to hate me when i start involving his frens and it makes me feel bad and im very sorry about it.. i even hate myself for doing it but still i knw why i did..i was trying my best to ask him back and in the end it didnt work out ..and instead of that i make him even more angry and he started to say he hates me..but i wonder..did he really mean it? but it did really put me into tears a lot..
my heart really felt like it has stop beating already that time.. i could think ntg else but sorry..
i wonder when will i start to forget bou tis..i know i shudnt have done that..it will push him even away n more further.. so thats y i agree to stay as his fren.. i dun wan him to hate me at all..I really don`t want to..
at least being frens we still can talk.. meet each other i guess?i didnt ask but is he willing to meet me..?
even if he is nt willing to meet me is ok.. i will be standing looking at him at peek him once and see hw is he doing ..thats really enough for me but at the same time im sad too of course..
i still loves him..
i really want him to do well in his studies..so that there is a hope for me.. a hope for me that i really want.. that is being back together with him..
its really sad that felicia told me that he finds me annoying and he is fed up that i keep msging him.. thats y im afraid to msg him..i have to let him calm down and if he wants to talk to me.. he will msg me.. but what if he don`t.. thats what im afraid too..
i have so much things in my mind till i can`t even sleep..
i miss everything like last time.
every morning i wake up i knw that i have him and he is there for me..
now i have to get used to tis.. i feel lonely.. i feel desperate now..i feel hurt..

he became the meaning of my life..
he`s the greatest guy that i ever met and the happiest guy that i ever be with..
he pampers me alot.. i know.. he loves me alot i knw.. he sacrifices for me alot.. especially time..he put so much effort in this relationship but its sad that it has to end like this..
its hard for him too but i really hope he will work hard ..work harder and concentrate everything and be back together with me thats what i want!
i want him to do well in his studies!

i want to be with him as soon as possible though he didn`t promise anything..
but i hope he still loves me and cares and his love remains for me the same.. thats what i want..
i hope i can still msg him and chat and receive a reply from him..
i hope he miss me..

i really hope that he will put our picture again up in friendster again.. but ya im touched that he put a picture and wrote there that `he stills loves me`
i believe in him..

well i always dream.. i always dream that..
one day.. after my spm.. after my spm..the last day of exam.. he will be waiting for me outside my school with flowers in his hands waiting for me.. waiting for me to come out..congratulate me for my hard work that spm is over .. spm is over.. i really will cry and run to him n hug him straight away..nothing else.. i just want to say i love him and i want be with him...

I`m willing to wait

2007-05-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

honestly..im very sad.. yes but abit better than be4..
i feel betray today..i hope u guys will appreciate your friends and don`t be selfish to get what you want..think of their situation and try to put yourself in there and you will know how they feel..
firstly i want thank vivian,kheng lam,felicia,caleb and suneel..
i been asking them for advices and help to get choon meng back..
even though i can`t get him back im grateful and i appreciate the help..
im sorry..i didnt meant to get your friends to be involved in this but..
sigh..i really want you..i cant let go.. i love you..
i got no one else to go to do you noe that?
i cant go to felicia or vivian or suneel anymore because i ask them 4 help alot times alredy and even though they talk to u ..u still won`t come back to me.. thats y.. i tot of caleb..
please don`t be angry..
please don`t hate me.. i really feel so hopeless and all i want is be back together with you..thats all so i look for help everywhere that i can..
please understand..

now im willing to let go i hope u will keep your promises to me..
i really hope... please..
i lose you nw.. all i just ask is a little small favour..
i know i cant be with u anymore..
Please..i really want you to do it for me..

i love him.. i still loves him. i even pray very hard since thursday morning till today that i hoping that lord jEsus will give me at least hope and miracle to get back be with him.. but it didnt happen..
maybe there is a reason for it..why it didnt happen..

all i can say is..even though i cant be his girlfriend..i cant hug and hold him..
i still want to care for him..i wan to see him to be successful too and happy..
i happy that he love me be4 and he nvr nvr cheat on me be4
but i do afraid that one day someone will take him aways from him..
because i love him..is like who will willing to lose someone that they love..
i wish i could be an angel..
invisible..follow him around everyday and looking after him and see what he goes true everyday and help him whenever i can..even though he cant see me or he knws i exists..as long as i can do dat..im happy..

if he loves you,he will come back to you one day even though you let him go..
i hope he will come back to me..
we`re friends now..
i hope we do maintain a good friend relationship and after everything is settle..
i hope he will come back to me..
i`ll be waiting for him..
i will..

i`ll wish him good luck for his studies..since this is what he wants..i hope it works for him..
really hope so..i hope he can manage everything and settle everything and balanced everything that time and i hope he `ll come back to me..i really hope he will come back to me..

i hope he will still loves me by that time..
i hope he will wait for me..
i got lots of hopes for him..

yes even though its hard to let go..it takes time.. it really takes time.. even though it does hurts ..u still have to let go becoz whatever u done and he don`t likes it ..you will make it even more worst..
he will hate you
i dont want that to happen..
but he really really force me.. i know he doing this is for our own good but im still sad about it that he force me to break up and leave him..
it hurts..
yes.. its really really tough believe me..
my mind was so blank that time.. and i almost turn insane ..i keep begging and asking him and saying no but seriously.. he say if i dun do tis he will hate me and dissappear from my life and wont talk to me anymore..
so this is what makes me accepted and hurts me so much..
because whats the use if u love him and he hates you..
at least being friends and u will still got hope and u can still chat with him..
the difference is we cant be that close to each other anymore even though i miss the feelings..
everything.. is all very precious to me..
yes is all very precious to me..

i will wait for him..
i will remember all the precious happy moments that we shared and had together..
i will how long no matter how long it takes..as long as i knw he will wait for me and still loves me.. i hope he will..
i really hope he will.
for me who still loves him..

sigh..! skipping exam tomolo..need to go clinic!!! gastric..arggh.. pain.. didnt eat for 4 days alredy..just drank water..
i have sleeping disorders too now! sigh!

hope things will get better soon..

what`s wrong loving me...

2007-05-12T19:15:00.000+08:00

what`s wrong loving me..
what`s wrong putting our photos in ur friendster profile..
why..
all this..
it hurts..
after all 3years..
it just end like dat..
it is worth it..
is being so long..
i love u.. i really do..

My heart really shattered into pieces but i still loves him..

2007-05-12T16:54:00.001+08:00

No matter how hard i try.. i beg or ask.. it still be the same.. its being decided d..
it hurts.. it really hurts.. i being crying for past three days ...its driving me crazy.. i cant eat.. i cant sleep i cant even study..it really hurts alot...
seeing the person that u love leaving right in front of u.. love u no more... u cant hold him or embrace him anymore it really hurts... i love him very much..and the relationship for 3years just ended up like dat.. he want to concentrate on his studies
thats what he said..
he can`t concentrate when he`s with me.. he is doing this for his future..for his own good.. i don`t want to see him fail too..i respect his decision then..i already try my best to ask him back and all but no use.. he don`t want to..he said the problem is not with me.. its him.. then i said y not u change for me...he said he can`t..he really can`t.. then i said i will change ..but still he say no..he told me that the problem is nt with me.. then i said y nt give me a chance..he say if i stay with him longer..i will give him trouble..why?
its sad..its really really sad..it just ended up all like that just because he wants to concentrate more on his studies..
it hurts..
it hurts..
letting him go its the hardest thing that i ever done in my life..
but tell me what can i do? he no longer want me anymore.. but why cant he tell me face to face..
why can`t he tell me face to face.. why on the phone.. which i have to beg my fren and him for so long just ask him to call to explain why.. is it there is something that is bothering that makes him don`t want me anymore..
i know im not that good and all but still i did really try my best to change myself to be a better girlfriend to you so that u will love me and there wouldn`t be any problems.. why does this has to happen? can u tell me..what`s wrong with me?
its really difficult for me to accept this.. i love him..
i still love him..
i willing to wait..
but will he wait for me..
will he keep his promise..
after 3 years..
will he still wants me?
all this things..keeps bothering me at night and i cant even sleep at all.. it hurts so much.. tears even roll down from my eyes when i see couples walking around..we were so happy together last time.. yes we do argue and ur feelings are getting lesser and lesser for me each time we argue..but still if u still loves me u should give me a chance..i told u before that i needed time.. i really take my word for it to change.. but it just that u didnt even give me the time.. its nt even a week.. and u said u want to leave me again.. but y.. be4 that we went out together..we were ok ,happy and you did promise me.. you did promise me choon meng that u wont ever leave me again and try to concentrate on your studies and again you broke your promise..
thats what i m afraid of now..
u said you really will keep the promise that i made with u..
so i really hope you will do now..
even though we`re friends now i still hope i get to go out with u whenever u`re free since u promise..
please do msg me whenever u`re bored or u have any problems,please do share with me..
please do come back to me if this doesn`t works..
please keep all the promises that u make..
please do settle your studies as soon as possible because i`ll be waiting for you and i m serious..

it hurts.. losing someone who you really love so so much hurts you alot..
i wonder for how long will i be like this..
i really wish that i could turn back in time..
since you been gone..i cannot breathe for the first time..it hurts so much..
i hope you will change your mind about leaving me..
there is so many other ways..
i can tolerate with it..
i told u..
love hurts..

i really put too much hope in this relationship and didnt know it will ended up like this..
i still loves him... thank you for everything..
i hope u wont get frustrated with me anymore..
since im your friend now..
you can share your problems with me now since last time u said u dun wan to hurt me thats y u`re not telling me..
i really wish that u could have told me face to face about this..
even though i cant accept at first but still the problem is between both of us..
think about it..
85% of all the couples would do dat..

i still miss u..cos i still loves u even though u`ve hurt me..
i really hope u will come back to me as soon as possible..
i know im stupid and i feel desperate to say this but.. i truly love him.. i love him..
thats all i want for now..
i dont want anything else now..

It hurts me..it really does..i cant live without him

2007-05-11T17:48:00.000+08:00

it really hurts me alot..i even have tears rolling down my eyes writing this.. i still love him thats y.. i love him i really do..i love him alot and all sudden he said he wants to leave me it is so hurtful.. i feel like killing myself honestly.. choon meng why? please bare with me please.. it really hurts me alot.. please don`t leave me i beg u.. i cant even concentrate on my studies.. i don`t have the mood to study anymore... even exam today... i can hardly even write.. its almost blank ...im sorry cos i really need u.. i do.. choon meng please....
i know no matter how much i beg u u won`t want me anymore..but the only one that i love and i want is you if not i wouldn`t be doing this..i care about u and i need u..
choon meng please...
we are really happy being together when we met ..yes sometimes we argue i know is me but please understand..im really worried thats why i feel afraid..u see even now u want to leave me.. please i beg u.. it`s hard and it`s torturing... please give me a chance..u did promise to not to let me go.. im willing to change but i want u to give me time too.. choon meng please.. its really hard choon meng please.. it hurts.. it really does.. i even pray very hard to make our relationship better please... choon meng..i beg u.. it hurts .. it really does.. u don`t want to answer my call or msg me or meet me to talk about this.. choon meng please... i know u still love me but u`re don`t admit.. i do believe that u still love me.. please.. u promise me..
i can`t even sleep nor eat or even study without u.. choon meng please.. give me time please..
i really mean it.. choon meng.. i feel so weak now.. please..

New bLOggie!!

2007-05-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

hehe im gonna start blogging here every day gua..
sob well i really miss my choon meng a lot.. honestly i do felt lonely , i know he`s busy and all .. well it`s college.. he do need his time to catch up with all his studies.. i miss him.. i really do..
sigh i m having exam .. stress up!!! argh! hate exams! i wonder y am i 17 this year.. just wish that i could be in the same age as my choon meng.. ya it is good werh..i mean like spm is over and u can start doing whatever u want to do..

i started to feel like i m getting further and further away from him.. I know he`s busy.. but i do feel afraid..ya it is like me and him are not closer as we are last time.. a lot arguements and misunderstands lately..wonder y.. i think is me who is the one thinking too much.. coz i really do miss him a lot..even we just met a few days ago..

Honestly, i m really sad about this and i really hope to make things better for our relationship.. i love him so so much.. Choon meng i`m sorry for being so emotional.. its just that sometimes i feel like u don`t like to talk to me and u `re trying to stay away from me that much and i feel lonely.. sorry but that`s how i felt..i know u`re busy.. so i`m trying to control myself nowadays.. im really afraid that u`ll leave me one day.. i do.. hope u`re ok with ur studies this days! don`t get so stress up ya..and im sorry bou today about the msn nick `lonely` is not i duwan to tell u.. i feel lonely.. and i dun dare to tell u becos i knw lately i been always like dat..wanting comfort and everything form u sorry.. thats y i didnt tell.. i really didnt mean to hurt u baby and im not trying to get attention from anyone..i stop that habit already really please do trust me..

ARGH exam!!! stress up!! One thing about exam i don`t like it when it comes to add maths exam! u know y??! im sitting in front and im the first person whose paper is gonna be collected..dun have time to check also! the teacher will be looking at me and say `chow ah?? u havent finish ar??` i also like paiseh and just pass her the paper..sigh sad sad.. kinda hard to
study actually cos something its bothering me.. i feel afraid... i afraid that i`ll be dumped cos im not that good and all...
WORRYING!!!! i can`t even control my emotions.. i cry out so easily nowadays... i feel like a spoiled brat who needs pampered and attention form parents.. but what i really one is to be with the one that i love happily.. that`s what i really want ..